Ugh, life.

It’s Friday, August 23. Last Thursday, I lost my job. I was working for an agency… They said they were laying me off due to finances. Since you were born, I changed positions and cut back my hours to spend a little time with you. (Actually, they forced me into the new position anyway – even though it was something they already knew I wanted to do. But that’s a longer story. This was essentially the third time they fired me. The first was when I was really too sick from anemia, to return to work after you were born. They told me to come back, and come back full time – against my doctor’s orders – or leave.)

But you know what? It’s all good. I wanted to quit anyway – in fact, I had just had coffee with a friend that morning, and was telling her how I just HAD to get out. They weren’t using my writing skills at all. There were things I could’ve done, but the owner simply could not allow herself to delegate work, or trust that I could do it. She also got her feelings hurt (in her own words) when designers were trying to collaborate directly with me. So she started ordering them not to speak to me.

You know what, Brock? It’s no good to feel like someone doesn’t understand, appreciate, or want to use your natural talents. It’s no good to be made to feel like a child when you’re a perfectly reasonable adult, with plenty of job experience that allows you to make sophisticated judgment calls.

You have to put up with some of that when you’re just starting out – you have to be humble, understand that you don’t know everything, and work your way up. But once you’re older, it doesn’t feel worth it. You still won’t know everything. So humility is fine and good — but letting yourself go completely unnoticed and unappreciated is a waste of your time. And it’s certainly a waste of your time to be treated (as a nearly 40-year-old), like you were treated by kids on the junior high playground.

In this case, I have people who DO want to use my skills. In fact, by the time I reached my car after getting fired, I had already lined up work that will be starting in a couple of weeks. By the end of the day, I had meetings with 3 contacts lined up for this week – and as I write to you now, I’m preparing to quote on multiple projects that Clay Pot Creative passed up by overpricing just a few weeks ago. I also have my first new project underway.

When these kinds of twists happen, you just have to accept that God has a larger plan in place, and it will be ok. I’m slowly learning – I’m a worry-wart. But not this time… Always remember to just pick yourself up, and figure out what’s next.

All of this has happened so fast — and you and I will still have more time together, too. Which is great, because you’re in such an exciting phase right now. Every day, it seems there’s something new. This week alone, it was your four new teeth, figuring out how to go from your belly to a seated position, and just this morning the beginning “dadadadadada” yammering. You never said a “d” sound before today, and suddenly it’s all you want to do. (BUT – you DID say “mama” first! :))

This is going to be good! I’m excited! As Bono said, “Don’t let the bastards grind you down!”

Love,

Mom

P.S.
Thank you for greeting me with your big, happy smile when I got home from losing my job. Between you and your dad, you both let me know everything was going to be alright, and that was priceless. 🙂